Never Again
by Jojo6
Summary: Episode addition for Out of Mind. Slight SJ. Humour.


Title: Never Again  
Author: Jojo  
Email: randomleaves@yahoo.co.uk  
Rating: G  
Spoilers: Into the Fire  
Summary: Episode addition for Into the Fire.  
Disclaimer: Not mine.  
A/N: Thanks to Melly.   
For Jara, because she couldn't read the last one :P  


*

*

*

"What's up?"

Aware she was under scrutiny, Sam summoned a confused look. "Nothing. Nothing's up." 

She leaned against the side of the elevator and stared at the floor, the sick feeling in her stomach expanding by the second as she bleakly, and melodramatically, imagined the worst case scenario for disobeying orders. Her father was going to kill her. He was... he was just going to kill her. Then disown her. Three generations of Air Force officers would end with her dishonor. 

Oh God. She was going to throw up. 

"Carter, please." He waggled his fingers in front of her face, a distinct O'Neill smirk on his face. "You've got that look."

She looked at him fully, noting with relief that he was looking pretty damn chipper for someone who'd been snaked, frozen and then unfrozen. Dr. Fraiser had wanted to keep him in the infirmary for 'observation' but he'd kicked up such a fuss she'd let him go, on the grounds that he couldn't leave the base for 24 hours 'just in case'.

Where as Daniel was, right now, lying prone on a bed, drugged up to the eyeballs and muttering something about his glasses being broken.

Sam tried to smile reassuringly. "It's nothing, Colonel."

"Come on, Carter. I can see the look."

"What look? I don't have a look." Did she have a look? Oh God, maybe she had a look.

Colonel O'Neill leaned forward and pushed the button to halt the elevator. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back on his heels, eyeing her speculatively. "Talk, Carter. If you got any paler you might just disappear entirely."

"Sir, really... it's..." Well, he was going to find out anyway, wasn't he? The debrief was in ten minutes. Makepeace would blurt out her unbelievable lapse in conduct and she would be thrown out of the Air Force. "I may... have," wow, she was even having trouble forming the words, "disobeyed orders."

He blinked. "My orders? Whose orders? Mine? When?"

"No, sir." She cleared her throat and swallowed and hoped to God she wasn't going to throw up at his feet. "Colonel Makepeace's orders." 

"When did you do that?"

"He ordered me not to go back for you."

"Ooh." He drew the word out. "But you did."

"Yessir. I didn't... I mean, it was pure luck that I found you so quickly." She felt a need to explain. "I just... it could have been *really* stupid, sir. I could have gotten killed and not disabled the generator. Oh God, you could have been a host, the Goa'uld could have already taken control. I just didn't think it through - I endangered lives just because I... I..."

Her mouth opened and closed repeatedly as she tried to voice what she was feeling. It felt very important, all of a sudden, and, if anything, it made her feel much, much worse. Like she was about to take a dive out of a plane.

"You?" the Colonel prompted, quietly, staring at her face.

"I... couldn't leave you behind." She blew out a whoosh of breath.

Colonel O'Neill smile grew and he looked away, dark eyes touching on the elevator buttons, the phone, the doors, before settling back on her. "Sometimes, Captain, you say all the right things."

"I do?" What? "I mean... sir, Makepeace is gonna..."

He made a 'pfft' noise and shook his head. "Don't worry about Makepeace. I'll talk to him."

"With respect, sir, you can't do that."

"I can."

"No, sir," she said firmly, "it's not ethical.."

"My ass."

She looked down at his ass - oh GOD! - and back up again quickly, hoping he hadn't noticed. "Colonel, I appreciate the thought..."

"Carter, I doubt he'll bring it up. Really, it wouldn't look good. And if he does and you get questioned... did it occur to you that in your efforts to find the generator... you accidentally came across me?"

"Well, no, sir, because I knew the energy readings I was getting...." 

He was staring at her hard. Willing her to understand.

And while she may have been nauseous, worried and desperate to pee, she wasn't stupid. "I suppose... I mean... I guess. There *were* a lot of Jaffa around. I did have to take a longer route to where the energy readings were strongest," she admitted. 

It wouldn't exactly be a lie. Not exactly. An exaggeration, perhaps. 

"Yeah. That's what I thought." He nodded satisfactorily and started the elevator up again. "So he told you not to go back for me?"

"I told him you'd been taken as a host..." Why did she now feel the need to defend the man? ".. and then there was some doubt that we could get back to the Stargate in time."

"But you did. Come back for me, I mean. Despite all that."

She smiled. "Yes, sir. I mean, if we got you back..." Sam faltered again, recalling just how lucky she had been. Just how close they had come to losing him.

The sick feeling returned.

"Thanks, Carter." He reached out and patted her on the shoulder. "I appreciate it."

"That's... okay, sir."

The doors opened on Level 25 and they stepped back to let in more people. Sam smiled at a couple of women she knew and they nodded back in a friendly fashion, unwilling, however, to talk casually in front of a superior officer.

God, she thought, leaning her head against the side of the elevator. She hoped nothing like this would ever happen again. 

  



End file.
